Rites of Fertility_knowledge - payment / altered

third and final part of a slot payment to DaffoDille
here's hoping all goes well.
(first version deemed unacceptable, second version deemed better but still not fully right. so here goes the third version, if this is deemed still unsatisfactory... I shall make one final changed version before giving up and writing something.)

Natsiq and Tuk strode through the dense pine forest, keeping a sharp eye out for other Tokotas. Specifically Tokotas that had ear tags, the young man had to be quick in his search and round-up: for the Rite of Knowledge had an unforgiving time limit like the other fertility rites prior. There was a soft rustle nearby, Tokota and rider stopped: listening. There, to the right, a flash of pale fur and a brightly colored ear tag. Looking Natsiq quickly spotted the target: a tundra female with a boldly marked face. She was tossing her head about(appearing to be trying to shake the ear tag off) and sniffing the air, looking agitated. Tuk perked at the sight of the other Tokota, he liked meeting new wind-kin friends.  Discarding any caution, and his rider's wishes, Tuk trotted towards the tundra furred stranger. Beiorn, the tagged toko, did not share Tuk's sentiments, and growled so darkly that it actually forced Tuk back a step and to stay where he was. Nastiq had thought, from previous experiences, that Beiorn would bolt and he would have to waste time chasing her down. surprisingly though, Beiorn stood her ground and continued to growl at them. Tuk was badly confused: how could a fellow wind-kin be so mean? Beiorn retorts that she had been having a very bad day: first her paws hurt from a really long treck on paw with mom(her two-legger other two-leggers call Artumis) on her back, then she was made to sleep by strangers, THEN she woke up in a strange place with unfamiliar smells and no trace of mom anywhere, AND HER EAR HURT! Natsiq carefully slid off Tuk's saddle and, very slowly, approached Beiorn.  The tokota locked her gaze on him and growled even feircer than before, if that was possible. Natsiq remembered what Beiorn's rider had said to him before all this started.
<earlier that day>
"hey, Natsiq?" Artumis approached the young lad and his tokota, taking a moment to let a weary Tuk sniff her hand and become accustomed with her.
"yeah?" Natsiq was getting ready to partake in his next rite of knowledge, he had met Artumis only briefly before; when she had first come to Tokotna to complete her final Rite of Fertility.
"my girl Beiorn is on the list of Tokos you have to find and round up,"
"yeah, so?" Natsiq didn't see what this southerner was on about.  she patiently held up a finger, asking him to give her a moment.
"she's not the friendliest towards strangers, especially when I'm not there with her." Artumis explained, giving Tuk some scritchins in a spot he couldn't reach, making the brown toko sigh happily. Natsiq gave her a look, and Artumis took a deep breath; he thought for a moment she would yell at him or something, but her face remained a one only of well-bred concern. "she and I live in a mountain valley community that has a really bad time with... unsavory characters.  bandits, raiders, theives, you name 'em they've tried to take advantage of us." Natsiq's face became tight,bandits? raiders? Artumis went on.  "after I found Beiorn, she and I have made it a personal mission to keep these nasty folk from ruining our home and have succeded on many an occasion.  they hardly bother us anymore." Artumis said.
"and what does this have to do with me? I'm not a bandit or a raider or a theif." Natsiq said, Tuk nuzzled him. he didn't know what was going on but he felt his daddy was uneasy and wanted to calm him.
"I know, but Beiorn may take you for one anyway. she may even try to bite you." Natsiq stiffened at that: he had yet been bitten by a toko, and he wanted to keep it that way.  "Just... be patient with her, m'kay?" Artumis asked softly. Natsiq was silent for a moment, then nodded.
"I'll try."
"do better than try: succeed." Artumis said encouragingly, and left. Natsiq stood where he was, lost in thought. Tuk nudged him, it was getting close to time to do the thing. Natsiq remembered, patted his toko, and went on his way.
<present time>
Natsiq held his hands out, palm up, and took many pauses in his advance forward; crooning reasurances to the angry Toko. Tuk became anxious, he didn't want to fight this fellow wind-kin, but if he needed to protect his daddy: he would. Tuk stood straighter, his tail standing erect. Beiorn's hakels went up and her own tail stood erect, puffed out slightly, making her look even more intimidating than before. "it's okay Beiorn." Natsiq said soothingly, approaching the tagged savage beast.  as he drew closer Beiorn's growling turned into snarling, and maked small lunging motions at him with her head.  Natsiq was within arms reach of Beiorn now, he very slowly reached to stroke her jowl fur and calm her.  Beiorn snapped at him, her jaws closing with a sickening slam mere inches from Natsiq's fingers. the young man remained steady and, when Beiorn had settled(however miniscully), he perserviered.  Slowly, calmly, and radiating reasurance: Natsiq petted Beiorn, letting her grow accustomed to him.  slowly, Beiorn calmed back down to her previous mild agitation: suddenly, Beiorn sniffed Natsiq all over then stared at him intently.  "she must smell her handler on me." Natsiq thought, "don't worry Beiorn, well get you back to Artumis soon." Beiorn seemed to gain a look of understanding and trotted over to Tuk, sitting beside him and giving Natsiq an impatient look.  Tuk proceeded to greet the tundra female happily, glad that that she was out of the mood she had been in, making Beiorn nip him several times when he got a little too overzealious.  Natsiq stared for a moment, then grinned.  he quickly put the halter on Beiorn, though she fussed about ANOTHER strange thing put on her and pawed at it in a vain attempt to remove some of it, and mounted up on Tuk.  he, Tuk, and an only mildly reluctant Beiorn set off into the forest once more:
one down, two to go.

Link or thumbnail of import sheet: Tuk
Registered name and ID number: Tuk 5453
Prestige breeder or Pack leader?: Prestige Breeder
Handler name: Natsiq
Supplementary Items: N/A
Training images and/or bonus images: N/A